1 Day Till The Redlight
A Song of Freedom
Play Music To Proceed☝
When couples break up, we tend to demonise our ex-partners. We highlight their flaws as a coping mechanism. After all, how can they possibly be good people if they don’t want you? Death to the ex!
I’m watching The Great Pretender for the first time, giggling, wishing my ex were here to say, “What did I tell you?” because he’d been recommending it to me for a long while. And, in moments like this, where I think fondly of him, I realise that I hold no resentment. Just a weird sense of yearning shielded by acceptance.
Yes, I’m aware that he wasn’t perfect, and things could have been better, but why should I focus on all the negatives when I can instead focus on recognising and working through my flaws? How could I have shown up better? How can I be a better partner for the next person? What cycles do I find myself repeating so I can work towards breaking the loop?
It’s natural, I think, to enforce our standards, rules, and preferences on our partners. And while we are flawed, we hold others up to some sort of standard that we may never quite fit ourselves. The curse of hypocrisy!
But, a random birdy said to me one day, “Zara, what if you just let all of that go? What would happen?” And that terrified me! What do you mean I should love without all my boundaries, restrictions, and fears? How do I even love without clinging? Without wanting? Without projecting? That’s outside the scope of my current reality.
And so, with fearful steps, do I navigate this space, where I want nothing from you, except to love you. I just trust that you show up exactly how I need you to. A love without possession. A love truly unconditional. A rise to the divine.
I wonder how long this profound mindset will last? The only constant thing is change, and yet, we funny humans resist change in exchange for comfort and familiarity.
Some days, of course, we’d require things. We’d require space to be, to grow, to navigate the world as a human. We’d hurt, we’d feel, and we’d fall into toxic patterns. But, ultimately, we are responsible for our own behaviours.
Only love grows here.
Xoxo,
Zara
